That is How I Met Hope

after a resigned sigh,
she said “you are amazing.
you deserve the universe
and all good things in life.
but you have to realise
that sometimes, what you want
isn’t always what you need.”

and I looked at her.
really looked at her.
seeing the hollowness behind her eyes
for the first time since we’ve met.
my heart squeezed tight.
almost to the point of unbearable pain.
I wanted to ask her,
‘who hurt you so badly
that you started to believe
that you’re unworthy?’

but I don’t.
instead I say,
“i have all I need
in front of me right now.
do you trust me?”

she nods slightly.
what she’s not saying is
that she doesn’t trust herself.

so I assure her,
“leap. and I promise
i will not let you fall.
instead, i will teach you how to fly.”

i have never seen a flower
bloom before my eyes.
but in that moment,
if hope was a flower,
then by God,
does it bloom beautifully
behind her eyes
and her smile.

I can string together a million words
just to let you know of all the reasons
why you shouldn’t give up.

Maybe I should,
pick all the most profound words,
assemble the most eloquent sentences
and bind them in thousands upon thousands of paragraphs
take all the ink and paper the world has to offer,
so thick it’ll keep you warm on the coldest of times.

Or maybe I won’t.

Because when you’re so used to getting hurt,
you don’t realize the people around you hurt too.

Because you feel like you don’t matter.

Then why would our words matter? Why would we matter?

We don’t.

So why do I still do it?

Because I believe my words drive the haze away.
Because I hope you’re reminded that there’s something to look forward to.
Because I think you somehow hear me in the thickness of the silence.
Because I don’t want you thinking no one hears you or sees you or just know you’re there.

But in spite of all the “I’s”
There is a you that drives it.